Revenge

Have you ever noticed how birdsong increases around spring? That time between daybreak and sunrise is filled with a bird choir reaching a crescendo just after the sun shows its face?

I love waking up in my little garden cottage (link to a video of the room) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rN-WBEVRock, the light peeping through the space above the door and around the curtains covering the windows. In the dusk, I let my body wake up slowly, wiggling my toes and stretching my legs while listening to the sounds of daybreak.

I get up with my mantra: “This is the day that the Lord has made, and I will rejoice and be glad in it!” It is a sacred time for being in the moment, not letting my mind wander to all the ”have tos” and “what ifs” of the day ahead. Just letting the sights and sounds of the new day fill me.

I lost a dear friend to cancer in January 2018, two months after she got the diagnosis. There were a lot of things that happened around her death involving people and family connected to her that left me in a place of such anger at humanity. I got home from her funeral and made a garden in her memory. It was just a bunch of geranium cuttings in a pot, but the process allowed me to work through some of the sadness and grief. Another friend came to help me, and I told her about all the things that happened and all the people involved and how I was angry at their betrayal of my friend. And, as a joke, she said, “Your best revenge is to forgive, to move on, to let go and to live the best life you could ever live. Because, that way, you will honour your memory of your friend and break the hold that the situation, and the people in it, have on you.”

s

Her advice has stayed with me. I started off living as an act of revenge, but, pretty soon, it turned into living for myself and the hope that I have for the future. You see, a positive mindset and outlook on life change your brain chemistry and it makes it harder to dwell on the negative. (Here is a link to a very good article about the process https://www.achievemedicalcenter.com/blog-post/your-brain-thrives-on-positivity ).

And here I am, a few years later, a different person. The number of beautiful things that have filled my life is amazing, the feeling of constant dread that I lived with since I was seven has left me, and my standard response to things is not, “what is wrong?” anymore.

It took the death of a friend, the wisdom of another and a determination on my side to “take revenge” in order to change my life;  mornings like this have been part of the process.

All my love from the south point of Africa.

Like this article?

Share on facebook
Share on Facebook
Share on twitter
Share on Twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on Linkdin
Share on pinterest
Share on Pinterest

1 thought on “Revenge”

  1. Amen!!! The joy of the Lord is my strength!! Doesn’t matter what comes at me seeking to take my peace; I have my moment(s) and then keep my eyes on Jesus and I make it thru still holding onto my joy even if it’s for just a small thing. ❤️Much love my friend.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Copyright © 2020 | www.katinkaponders.com